Cycle of Violence

Incident

■Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

Tension Building

■Abuser starts to get angry
■Abuse may begin
■There is a breakdown of communication
■Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
■Tension becomes too much
■Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'

Making-Up

■Abuser may apologize for abuse
■Abuser may promise it will never happen again
■Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
■Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

Calm

■Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
■Physical abuse may not be taking place
■Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
■Victim may hope that the abuse is over
■Abuser may give gifts to victim




The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.

It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the 'making-up' and 'calm' stages disappear